Lying isn’t always a terrible thing
January 28, 2010 • Rachael Martin, Reporter
Filed under Opinion
Lying: everyone does it, whether they know it or not. At a young age, most students are told that honesty is the best policy, but, can lying be good, or is it always bad? I think that lying can be acceptable at some times, but not necessarily all the time. Lying, so as not to hurt someone’s feelings, for example, is better than lying about doing something bad. Also, lying only once in a while is okay, but not lying all of the time. Some people lie to be mean to other people, whereas others lie to protect themselves or others.
Some people that lie a lot can easily lose friends and become very disliked by their fellow classmates. Once someone starts to fall into the pattern of lying, in most situations, it becomes hard for them to stop. The lies roll off of their tongues without them even pausing to think about it. Lying just to be mean is rude and not right, such as telling someone they look good in what they are wearing when they don’t or telling someone a lie about someone they like.
People also could lie on accident if they don’t know all of the facts or are misinformed. In that way, it is best to have all of the correct information before telling someone something. Lying can also turn into gossip if one person starts to spread it and it isn’t true.
White lies, unlike big, fat lies, can help people to feel better or help things to sound or be better. Instead of telling someone the cold, hard truth, lying a little can be better. Some white lies can also ease the possible pain of the full truth. Also, telling white lies to young children can be okay. Children just don’t need to know all of the facts about certain things sometimes.
Another thing that goes along with lying is not letting people know things about you by keeping things private or keeping secrets for others. When a student’s best friend tells them a secret and another friend starts pressing them about it, it is alright to lie about it and keep it a secret. Or when someone asks if someone else is okay and they lie, saying, “I’m fine,” instead of going into the details and telling them everything about your personal feelings.
So in the end, it is best not for students to lie all of the time or just to lie for no good reason. Everyone should try to answer things as honestly as possible and only lie when they have to. Lying, at least white lies, in certain situations can help to make life a little better for some people.
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Rachel, thanks for sharing this thought-provoking article. And I want to be honest here
. I hope that your views, along with any other student who shares them, are open to change. First, let me say, you are accurate in saying that lying can cause a person to be disliked and that it can even become habitual. Absolutely right!
There is one thing should be clarified: lies, by definition, are intentional. So, a person who would ‘lie on accident’, wouldn’t be lying, but would rather, as you said, simply be misinformed. Here are some points on lying to consider:
1) Lies are lies. There are no ‘little white’ ones and ‘big, fat’ ones. If that were true, who would be the judge of where that line is drawn?
2) Lying always tears down trust and security in relationships, no matter what the ‘level’ of the lie. If I can’t know that I can always trust what you say, how can I ever know I can feel completely secure in our relationship? How can I know I can fully trust you? How will I know when you’re going to choose a lie over the truth?
3) Better communication skills, not lies, are the solution to handling the touchy situations mentioned in this article. You are right in recognizing the sensitivity of some of the situations you mentioned. However, there are always better ways to respond other than lying. For example, take your illustration of lying to children. It is true that there are times when young children don’t need all the facts or information. If questions come up with young children, using redirection is one good communication method. Depending on the circumstances, you may ask them in return, ‘What do you think the answer is?’ or ‘Why do you ask?’ (which is usually the root of the issue anyway, not the question itself). And if they press on for answers, share the palatable high-level bits of truth they can handle for their age level and, if necessary, let them know that you will talk to them more about this when you feel they are at a more appropriate age.
My encouragement to you and all our students would be to continue to develop your communication skills. With strong communication skills, lying can be eliminated, creating a healthier, more trustworthy environment for all of us.
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